20th Jan2010

Hey Star Trek! watchoo mean MMORPG!?

by jerad.formby

Lieutenant’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

Due to the recent Borg incursion, I find myself in command of my own ship. My crew expresses confidence in me. Starfleet Academy has prepared me to assume the duty, but I face the stars alone and uncertain.

Lieutenant’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

Just returned from Club 47. It was an interesting experience. I found many other officers thrust into a similar position. I caroused with the “Captains” of other ships and after too much Tranya expressed my doubts about assuming command of a Starship. Nobody felt the same way. They are young and they are eager.

I wept alone.

Lieutenant’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

The Klingons attempted to invade our sector and eliminate Starbase 36. We engaged the enemy and with the assistance of fourteen other ships, we ultimately dispatched the Klingon threat. I looked to the blank faces of my crew and wondered if we had done the right thing. We had protected the Federation, but something tells me that this Klingon menace will just keep coming. Seeking solitude, I went to the turbolift and stood in front of the door.

Lieutenant Commander’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

I have promoted my executive officer. His name is Vladimir Enkido. He is a worthy lieutenant; I gave him the promotion and pray he act as my moral compass, my wingman, and one that will challenge my decisions, and help me to protect everything that is meaningful about the Federation.

Lieutenant Commander’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

The taste of battle again. This time it was the Orions. With assistance from the U.S.S. Battlestar Galactica and the U.S.S. Jenna Jameson, we vanquished our enemy. The captain of the Jenna Jameson, Lieutenant Commander In Your Face, gave a rousing “Yeah Boy,” as the battle concluded.

My feelings on the matter are that we acted too hastily, dammit!

I was certain that the Orion Pirate who led such a bold assault on P’jem would make an excellent prisoner. I looked to Lieutenant Enkido and he was silent.

Lieutenant Commander’s Personal Log. Stardate: Unknown

One of my bridge crew impressed me today. Her name is Ensign Karina Morganna. She has a supple form and is excellent in a firefight. It occurred to me that we have twin children together. So far we have kept the secret from everyone on board the ship. How long can we continue this hidden love affair?

Lieutenant Commander’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

Upon docking at Deep Space Nine, it was decided shore leave was in order. The Promenade was bustling with many like-minded Lieutenants and I soon found my way to Quark’s. Once there, I ordered a Kanar and ended up chatting with one Lieutenant Malcolm Reynolds. I wondered aloud if there was perhaps too much war in our lives and Lieutenant Reynolds explained that the combat was difficult to get the hang of, but was ultimately a lot of fun –just like the movies.

I made a mental note to ask Vladimir what an archaic form of Entertainment had to do with anything.

Lieutenant Commander’s Personal Log. Stardate: Unknown

It occurred to me that Vladimir knows about Lieutinant Morganna and me. He knows of our twin children Alexis and Denisoff. He confronted me in front of the turbolift door. I was devastated. I hastily asked what he planned to do. He trusted me to do the right thing.

I know now that if I get command of an entire fleet, my first duty will be to re-assign Morganna.

Lieutenant Commander’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

Today we fought the Romulans. Many of us were involved in the assault. My tactical officer, Edward Jonathan Bryce, contributed phaser fire and chief engineer Heathcliff Excalibur maintained the shields fantastically. It was the U.S.S. Tardis that dealt the final blow.

There were many cheers for so many lives lost. I hope to command a fleet soon. I don’t know how much longer I can command Lt. Morganna.

Commander’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

I have assigned Lt. Morganna to another ship in my fleet, the U.S.S. Achilles. I of course gave her the highest commendation and plan to make our marriage plans known to Starfleet as soon as I finish this log entry.

Commander’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

I plan to marry Morganna in August. I hope this marriage will legitimize the bastards Alexis and Denisoff. If only the new Ensign that’s been assigned to me wasn’t just a little more attractive than Morganna –almost as if she were made by more experienced hands.

Tonight I’ll light a candle and attempt to meditate this temptation away.

Due to the time I spent studying on Vulcan, it occurs to me that meditation is good and necessary.

Commander’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

I and another fleet, led by the U.S.S. Black Street, are planning to defend the Mutara Sector. When I spoke with the captain to theorize about the strategic importance and why the Gorn might choose to attack from such a decidedly strange point in space, its captain, Commander Superman, informed me “he just wanted points.”

Vladimir was as taken aback as I was.

Good old Vladimir. The wind at my back. The bread to my butter. The salt to the soup. He has never let me down.

Commander’s Personal Log. Stardate: Unknown

The really attractive Ensign has a compelling back-story. Her back-story seems to be even more compelling than Morganna’s. She’s been forged by tragedy –perhaps that explains her sad expression. She also has the name Anastasia Kingsley. She grew up on Risa. Fascinating woman.

Commander’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

The entire fleet mobilized under my command again, this time we attacked Gorn space. The campaign was massive. The U.S.S. Liberator and the U.S.S. Indiana Jones dealt the most damage with their incredibly well-constructed fleets.

At the end of the battle, it occurred to me that an old friend of mine died somewhere in my fleet. This softened the victory and my old friend Mortality came knocking.

Later we warped to Quarks and I raised my glass to absent friends. Everyone seemed obsessed with discussing a 3-D Motion Picture called Avatar.

I wondered where Vladimir was.

I wondered how Anastastia was fairing back on the ship.

Commander’s Personal Log. Stardate: Unknown

Anastasia and I have begun a torrid love affair. I feel shame and think only of the children and poor Morganna on the U.S.S. Achilles. If she ever finds out, it will destroy her and the children.

I circle the bridge pacing as my crew continues to perform admirably.

On a side note, a pesky Ensign character, named Byron Windsor, saw the two of us kiss in the secluded bridge corner. He saw my hands gripping on or around her waist and our noses too close.

Commander’s Log. Stardate: Unknown
Perhaps it’s the amount of blood on my hands, but I feel as though the fleet I command contributes very little to the actual battle.

Today we attacked the Klingon Homeworld. Many of my colleagues’ ships were destroyed, including the U.S.S. Bong Rips, the U.S.S. Vendetta, and the U.S.S. Smorgusborg.

So many ships were destroyed. My old friend Mortality returned.

I thought fondly of Morganna. Did her presence on the Achilles force me to delay to action? Are my feelings getting in the way of my command?

Commander’s Personal Log. Stardate: Unknown

Ensign Byron Windsor told me that he saw Anastasia and me. I felt terrible. There was no way to apologize for my behavior and then he said something else. He told me that he informed my bridge crew. I screamed at him red-faced. All of my Vulcan training escaped me, much to my chagrin.

He was quick to point out that I had no moral high ground. I asked if he would keep what he saw from my precious Morganna and the children.

He said that his loyalty was to his commander. I was relieved when he didn’t ask me to re-assign him.

When he left me alone in front of the turbolift, I fell into a roll. Back and forth, back and forth. Panic swept over me.

Commander’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

An epic skirmish with the Romulans has come to an end. Some have said this battle could decide the future of the quadrant. Edward Jonathan Bryce was amazing with the torpedo spreads and phaser arcs.

It’s quite possible that my fleet dealt deciding blows. In the heat of battle, many other commanders cheered me: “Hells yeah!” They said. “Whose your daddy!?” They wondered.

The upgrades worked.

I took a moment to admire my crew’s performance. I had built them up from nothing and on this glorious day, my investment had paid off.

Commander’s Personal Log. Stardate: Unknown

There has been an accident. At least, that’s how I’m supposed to report it.

Ensign Anastasia Kingsley died in a terrible shuttle exercise. The official report will read that she took a shuttle pod without authorization and left the ship. She used the thrusters to navigate to the forward position of the ship where a phaser blast destroyed the pod, Ensign, and all.

My First Officer Vladimir Enkido has prepared the report for me. All scan logs about the incident have been garbled or some how ruined.

It appears Ensign Byron Windsor conspired with my First Officer, my tactical officer, my science officer, my operations officer, and my helmsman to ensure Anastasia’s death. I am implicated into this conspiracy as accessory after the fact.

I can’t say anything. I won’t report anything outside of Lt. Commander Enkido’s carefully constructed document.

They did it for Morganna. They did it to protect the children and all that is wholesome and true in this war-torn universe. For me to speak up for justice is to expose Morganna to a hollow, shattered, and false sex god.

She doesn’t deserve it. And neither do our children.

My consent to this dark secret horrifies me. I know this event will have far-reaching ramifications.

Computer. Delete that entire Personal Log.

Commander’s Log. Stardate: Unknown

It is my joyous wedding day. The ceremony was held on my bridge in front of the turbolift. My valiant bridge crew was in attendance and a few of the other fleet commanders were there as well.

Commander Han Solo did his famous “woot!”

Captain Lil Wayne 69’s ceremony was brief and to the point.

As I survey the faces of the men and women who have served with me this long, I feel as if they’ve become my family. Many of them have observed an untested commander who has been forced to grow up a little faster than was once hoped.

Before logging out, I know in my heart of hearts I will return soon to the epic, unfolding galaxy.

I will return to their faces and again assume command of the U.S.S. Imbroglio.

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